mumbling

i try 2 discribe my situation now.
but i dont know where to start.
my english prob?
my head?
my BRAIN?
my studies?
my plan?
i could go on and on...
mumbling for hours..
and yet,
is anything accomplished?


NO.

my spirit.
goes high a minute, goes low a minute after tht.

the prob.
is simple.
it is ME.
the way i think.
im not the person who i used 2 b.
my brain.
my mind.
it is all full of crumpy old data,
thts been mixed up,
jack up,
pack up.
im like a pc, tht juz bz running a lot of prog at the same time,
and needs to restart frequently,
and when it did,
it wont work out well, bcoz of so many restarts.
or u can say, RESET.
like a pc tht has been reset too many times, it doesnt work well anymore after awhile.

wat keeps me going,
and dunt go crazy,
is trying,
to think,
tht,
i have to

"DONT WORRY, BE HAPPY"

i sang tht song a couple of times.

but i know, i cant lie, not to myself.
tht im not the same anymore.

my brain...
it thinks too MUCH.
inside my brain,
its like a room, already jammed with cupboards and stuff tht fill things up and make no room for sense.

Creativity is gone, bcoz my brain cant think out of the box since i keep having 2 shut my brain down everytime i try 2 smoothly think.

i need a time 2 relax,

and figure things out.